This chapter introduces a concept you’ve likely never heard of before: your “Self-Story.” It reveals how your self-story impacts your success and provides a secret strategy to craft a better self-story to achieve greatness.

“Many people aren’t aware of this…” Chris Eubank Jr. leaned conspiratorially forward in his chair.

Chris Eubank Jr., professional boxer and son of Chris Eubank, a legendary member of the International Boxing Hall of Fame, had come to my home for an interview I requested while preparing this book. He continued:

“…but what makes a boxer is 80% mental. The courage, the instinct, and the endurance you need to walk through a crowd of thousands. And as you walk, you know that once you reach the ring and climb those steps, you’ll have to take off your robe. The bell will ring, and you’ll have to fight someone. You’ll get hurt in front of millions watching you worldwide, and you’ll hurt someone else. Just that – the walk alone – most people on this planet couldn’t do. Just that walk, let alone the actual boxing, requires immense mental strength.”

Steven Bartlett: Do you think that mental strength can be taught?

Chris Eubank Jr.: I think so; I’ve seen fighters develop it. And you need it. In the end, there will be times during training, sparring, and definitely during fights when you’ll get badly hurt. You’ll question yourself. What am I doing here? Am I okay? Can I beat this guy? Should I quit? Should I try to get out of this? It’s too much. Every fighter has that moment.

Steven Bartlett: Have you ever seriously thought about giving up in a match?

Chris Eubank Jr.: [long pause] There was one time I almost gave up. Before I turned professional, I was in Cuba. Out there, those guys are real beasts. They’re monsters. So I get into the ring for a simple sparring session, and then this Cuban Olympic heavyweight climbs the stairs and enters the ring. At first, I thought he was just getting in to shadowbox, warming up for his own sparring session with someone else. Then everyone said, “No, you two are going to spar.” And I was like, “Uh, he’s about three times my size. How is this supposed to work?” They said, “Don’t worry, he’ll go easy. You’ll just train lightly.” So I thought, fine. Let’s go.

The bell rings for the first round, and the guy comes at me full force. The hardest hits I’ve ever taken. Bam, bam, bam. I’m ducking, dodging, running around the ring. And he’s just following me; I can’t shake him.

Bam, bam, bam. He knocks me clean out of the ring. That’s a fall of about five feet onto concrete. I land on my knee, and my entire leg goes numb. I try to stand, but my leg won’t cooperate. I look up, and there’s this Cuban heavyweight leaning against the ropes, looking down at me. I’m at a mental crossroads and have to make a decision. Do I say, “Look, my knee’s busted. You’re just too big”? Or do I climb back into the ring? I glance around while sitting on the concrete floor. Everyone’s watching me, including my dad. I made a decision. I thought, you know what, let’s finish this damn thing.

I got back into the ring, and the Cuban kept pounding on me for two more painful rounds. But the only thing on my mind was: I have to last three rounds because I said I would do three rounds. I’m not leaving as someone who gives up. I couldn’t live with myself. I have to go home and sleep well. I can’t sleep peacefully knowing another man made me quit. So I got back in and took the beating. And from that day forward, I was no longer afraid. It was the worst experience of my life, but also the best, because I discovered what I was capable of. I knew I could endure. If he couldn’t make me quit, who could? No one. And I carried that knowledge with me throughout my career.

Steven Bartlett: That’s incredible. You’re talking about a story you write about yourself, for yourself, and how much that story shapes your future behavior.

Chris Eubank Jr.: Exactly. That especially happens during training. Sometimes I’m running on the treadmill, and suddenly I get a cramp in my calf, and there are still eight minutes left because I set the timer for forty minutes and have only run thirty-two. So the cramp starts, and I keep running on one leg, limping along. Because if a treadmill can make me quit, what will happen in the ring when a guy punches me, and it hurts? Then he’ll make me quit too.

That’s so important because it teaches you to believe that no matter how hard it gets, you’re the kind of person who can handle anything.

It doesn’t matter if others are watching or if I’m the only one who knows I’ve given up. You can’t give up, even when no one’s looking – you don’t want that energy within you. You have to keep those demons out. They’re bad spirits, and if you let them in, they’ll take over!