How to choose the right goal?

October 7, 2019

Is your goal your desire?

Nowadays, we hear a lot about setting goals and achieving them. Unfortunately, there are people who don’t have these goals, so they think up something just to feel better. Quite often,  they take the goals of others, not realizing that what others will bring happiness them can bring unhappiness. For one person, the performance on the stage for a huge audience will be a reward, and for the other, a penalty. So, why would those two people strive for the same purpose?

How to find out what will bring you happiness?

Specify what do you want to feel. When are you the happiest? When everyone praises you and you are in the spotlight or when you are surrounded by your loved ones? Or perhaps you’re the happiest being alone? What would give you a greater sense of fulfillment, receiving a prestigious reward, or having an unforgettable time among friends, family? Do you appreciate changes and adventures or stability and organization? Do you prefer when someone praises your intellect or appearance? Be honest with you, then you’ll know what to focus on. Would Bear Gryllls be happy and fulfilled if he swaped lives with the richest man in the world? No, because for those people the source of happiness is something different. There are people who, after receiving the reward for outstanding achievements, get depressed. Why? Because they have been striving for many years for a certain purpose and it turned out that achieving it doesn’t give them happiness. Sometimes they are just overwhelmed and realize that it was just a waste of time . Not everyone enjoys the same thing. Not everyone likes to win. Not everyone likes to be in the spotlight. To be happy, you need to know which feelings make you feel so.

“You don’t strive for the purpose but for the feelings caused by its achievement.” Danielle LaPorte

Answer this question: How do I want to feel? Think about how you feel after winning a match. Do you feel full of motivation, satisfaction, and joy or are you glad that the match has ended and you get it over? Do you really like to play football or just like spending time with your mates? How would you feel if people were interested in your life, took pictures of you, and created your fan clubs? Would it be annoying and overwhelming or you would feel like someone important and fulfilled? Do you like to be responsible, so you could run your own business or having a big responsibility would be so stressful for you that it would take your all life’s energy? Do you often get tired of people? Do you like to work in a group or are you an individualist? You should answer these questions to avoid achieving goals that won’t bring you happiness. Write down the feelings you want to feel and think about achievements that will make you feel so. In pursuit of your goal, think of those feelings you want to experience, and this will allow you to feel that you are doing something worthwhile and you go toward happiness.

For all that we do, there stands a desire to feel in a certain way.” Danielle LaPorte

Do not set a goal that seems to be right, set the target that will fulfill your most deepest desires.

Article written based on the book “The Map of Desires” by Danielle LaPorte