Is Your Goal Truly Your Own Wish?
These days, we hear a lot about setting and achieving goals. But many people pursue goals that aren’t truly their own – they adopt them from others to feel better. They fail to realize that what makes someone else happy might actually make them unhappy. For one person, performing on stage is a dream come true; for another, it’s a nightmare. Why should both pursue the same goal?
How Can You Find Out What Truly Makes You Happy?
Ask yourself: When do you feel happiest? When you’re in the spotlight and being praised? When you’re surrounded by loved ones – or when you’re alone? Does a prestigious award give you fulfillment, or does an unforgettable time with family and friends matter more to you?
Do you enjoy adventure and change – or stability and structure? Do you feel better when someone praises your intellect or your appearance? Be honest with yourself – then you’ll know what to focus on. Would Bear Grylls be happy living the life of the world’s richest man? Probably not – because their sources of happiness are fundamentally different.
Some people fall into depression after achieving a major goal – because they realize that what they’ve worked toward for years doesn’t actually bring them joy. Maybe it was all just a waste of time. Not everyone loves the same things. Not everyone wants to win or be in the spotlight. To be truly happy, you need to know what emotions you are truly seeking.
“You are not chasing the goal itself, but the feelings you hope achieving that goal will create.” – Danielle LaPorte
Ask Yourself the Right Question
How do you want to feel?
Think about how you feel after winning a game. Do you feel fulfilled and motivated – or just relieved it’s over? Do you truly enjoy playing football – or do you simply enjoy spending time with your friends? How would it feel if people suddenly cared about your life, took pictures of you, and started a fan club? Would that feel annoying or overwhelming – or important and fulfilling?
Do you enjoy being responsible – perhaps running your own business – or would that be too exhausting for you, draining all your energy? Do you often get tired of being around people? Do you enjoy working in a group – or are you more of an individualist? Only by honestly answering these questions can you avoid chasing goals that won’t bring you happiness.
Write down the emotions you want to experience – and then think about what kind of success would lead you there. When pursuing your goals, keep in mind the feelings you want to experience. That way, you’ll know you’re doing something meaningful – and you’re truly chasing happiness.
“In everything we do, we are seeking to feel a certain way.” – Danielle LaPorte
Conclusion
Don’t set goals that just seem “right” – set goals that fulfill your deepest desires.
This article is based on the book “The Map of Desires” by Danielle LaPorte.
